Breaking the Cycle of Gender-Based Violence: Why Healing Men Is Key

All Photos: Courtesy of Father A Nation

Each year, 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence (GBV) brings powerful conversations to the forefront. But as South Africa continues to grapple with GBV, a compelling shift in focus is emerging: to break the cycle of abuse, we must heal men. This idea, championed by the non-profit organization Father A Nation (FAN) and supported by a national study from the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC), offers a transformative perspective on addressing GBV at its root.

When we think about GBV, the conversation often centers on awareness and prevention—a critical starting point, but only part of the solution. FAN founder Craig Wilkinson argues that healing men, often the perpetrators of GBV, is essential to creating lasting change. As Wilkinson explains, “If we heal men, we heal society.”

The recently released HSRC study echoes this sentiment, revealing the devastating impact of untreated trauma, mental health challenges, and distorted masculinity on men’s behavior. These findings demand a deeper look into the environments and experiences that shape abusive tendencies,moving beyond labeling men as abusers to understanding why they abuse.

From Innocence to Aggression: Understanding the Path to Abuse

Wilkinson believes that “No boy is born an abuser” but abuse stems from complex factors like childhood trauma, mental health struggles, and a lack of positive male role models. The HSRC study sheds light on South Africa’s fatherlessness crisis, where young boys grow up without guidance, often turning to peers, media, or societal expectations for cues on how to be a man. The result? A toxic cycle of aggression, dominance, and harmful beliefs about women.

Without the steadying presence of a father or mentor young men are at risk of a journey that can lead down troubling paths.

The attitudes that prevail found in the study are:

70% of men believe that a woman should obey her husband.
23% believe a woman can never refuse sex with her husband.
An alarming 15% believe a husband has the right to punish his wife.

These deeply entrenched beliefs aren't just relics of outdated thinking—they are dangerous myths that enable the cycle of GBV to persist, often in silence. The HSRC believes the solution lies in education, mental health interventions and creating a healthy ideal of masculinity.

To rewrite this narrative, society must confront these distorted notions of masculinity. True strength doesn’t lie in control or dominance but in compassion, respect, and love. By reshaping these ideas, we can begin to chart a path where manhood is synonymous with integrity and care rather than fear and harm.

Rethinking Masculinity

At the heart of FAN’s work is the idea of positive masculinity—one rooted in respect, love, and protection. Programs like their “No Excuse for Abuse” course emphasize that while trauma or societal pressures may explain abusive behavior, they are never an excuse for it. Instead, these programs focus on equipping men with tools to redefine what it means to be strong: as protectors, not perpetrators.

This holistic approach calls for a cultural shift in how we raise boys. From classrooms to boardrooms, communities to faith groups, everyone has a role to play. As Wilkinson puts it, “Raising boys to be the fathers, brothers, and leaders they were meant to be will not only protect women from abuse but will save our nation.”

This year’s 16 Days of Activism offers a unique opportunity to look beyond the surface of GBV and dive into its root causes. The work of FAN and the HSRC’s findings serve as a wake-up call: we cannot combat GBV without addressing the conditions that allow it to flourish. Mental health interventions, mentorship, and education about healthy masculinity are not just helpful—they’re essential.

As we continue these vital conversations, let’s remember that healing men is not about absolving them of accountability. Instead, it’s about breaking the cycle of abuse at its origin—creating a society where men are equipped to lead with empathy and strength, not fear and violence.

For more on FAN’s transformative programs or to contribute to their impactful work, visit Father A Nation. And don’t miss our in-depth exploration of the many forms of abuse and how they impact lives across South Africa. Together, we can create meaningful change.