It is Possible to Leave an Abusive Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship is one of the hardest steps a person can take, but it’s also one of the most empowering. Abuse doesn’t just affect physical well-being—it drains self-worth, instils fear, and isolates. Many people feel trapped, believing they can’t leave or don’t deserve better. But the truth is: leaving an abusive relationship is possible, and it’s a transformative step toward reclaiming control, self-respect, and peace.

During the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, we acknowledge the courage it takes to break free from a toxic environment and rebuild. Choosing yourself over the fear, confusion, and hurt is a powerful act of self-love. Abuse can take many forms, physical, emotional, financial and it’s important to understand that all of them are valid reasons to leave. These experiences are often hidden, but their impacts are long-lasting, affecting confidence, well-being, and even future relationships.

The campaign underscores the critical need for support and education, so survivors know they’re not alone. While leaving is challenging, many South African women who’ve endured abuse have gone on to live fulfilling, empowered lives, showing others that freedom and healing are possible.

Here’s a roundup of inspiring figures who prove that it is possible to walk away from a toxic or abusive relationship. Their journeys remind us that courage, resilience, and a fresh start are within reach.

Celebrities Who Left Abusive Relationships:

1. Shoki Mmola

Photo: @shock.star

Known for her role in Skeem Saam, Shoki Mmola has been open about her experience in an abusive marriage. She recalls the subtle red flags like extreme possessiveness that began before the abuse turned physical. The emotional toll left her isolated, questioning her worth. Despite this, she summoned the courage to confront her reality. By reaching out for support, Shoki broke free from the cycle of fear and emotional manipulation.

Shoki ultimately reached out for support and broke free from the cycle of fear and emotional manipulation. Since then, she’s been a powerful advocate for survivors, doing interviews and podcasts to encourage other women to recognize early signs of abuse and prioritise their self-worth.

Today, she looks back on that period as a journey of self-discovery and strength. Her story reminds others of the importance of recognizing early signs of abuse and prioritising one’s self-worth.

2. Busiswa Gqulu

Photo: @busiswaah

Musician and poet Busiswa Gqulu’s resilience is well-documented in her documentary Unbreakable, Busiswa Gqulu shared her harrowing experience of physical abuse. For years, she endured pain, fear, and betrayal, often blaming herself and feeling trapped. As the abuse escalated, she realised that her survival depended on leaving. Over time, Busiswa’s emotional scars healed, and she found the courage to prioritise her own well-being.

Today, she has not only healed but has also channelled her experiences into her art and public advocacy, empowering others with her story. Busiswa continues to use her platform to illustrate that survival is about trusting in one’s strength and embracing a healthier life.

She empowers others by openly sharing her journey, illustrating that survival is about trusting in one’s strength and recognizing that leaving is the first step toward a healthier life.

3. Busisiwe “Cici” Twala

Photo: @ciciworldwide

The gorgeous singer and actress known as Cici faced public scrutiny after bravely revealing the abuse she endured at the hands of a former partner. Her emotional and physical scars ran deep, with one encounter so severe that medical attention was required. The abuse was a wake-up call, and Cici knew she had to leave for the sake of her life.

She faced both legal battles and emotional recovery but, with time, chose to prioritise herself. Her journey reminds survivors that while leaving may be difficult, it’s an essential step toward self-liberation. Today, Cici is thriving, using her voice to advocate for survivors. Her music and public appearances provide inspiration to many, showing that while leaving is hard, it can lead to personal freedom and growth.

4. Bonang Matheba

Photo: @bonang_m

Media powerhouse Bonang Matheba has publicly shared her story of emotional and physical abuse, highlighting the subtle signs of control and manipulation. Her confidence was eroded by emotional violence, which eventually turned physical. With immense courage, Bonang chose to leave the toxic relationship and reclaim her mental health.

Bonang’s resilience has led her to international acclaim, where she continues to make waves in media and fashion. Her journey encourages women to prioritise their well-being and recognize their self-worth, no matter how daunting it may seem.

Her story encourages women to recognize the value of their self-worth and to take steps to protect themselves, even when the journey ahead seems uncertain. Bonang’s resilience exemplifies the strength that can come from choosing freedom over fear.

5. Kelly Khumalo

Photo: @KellyKhumaloza

The multitalented singer and reality TV star Kelly Khumalo has also shared her story of abuse, an experience she bravely chose to walk away from for the sake of her own well-being and her children’s future. She emphasises how difficult it was to face the reality of her situation but knew that staying would compromise her safety and happiness.

Her decision to leave wasn’t easy, but it became a pivotal moment in her life, one that marked the start of a journey toward healing and empowerment. Kelly’s story resonates deeply, showing others that self-preservation is a powerful motivator and that it’s possible to rebuild after escaping the cycle of abuse.

These survivors are living proof that leaving an abusive relationship is not only possible—it is a transformative act of self-love and empowerment. Their stories reflect the profound courage it takes to leave an abusive relationship and rebuild one’s life. Each of these women’s journeys underscores that abuse does not define a person’s future; rather, it’s the decision to prioritise one’s well-being that begins a new chapter of hope and freedom.

The 16 Days of Activism is a reminder that no one deserves to suffer in silence, and help is available. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, remember that support is available. Local organisations such as Lifeline and The South African Depression and AnxietyGroup (SADAG) offer counselling and assistance. There are also helplines and resources such as The Warrior Project Helpline that provide safe spaces for survivors to rebuild their lives.

In this upcoming 16 Days of Activism lets encourage open dialogues and supports community efforts to end gender-based violence. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, remember that support is available. Reach out to local helplines, shelters, and trusted networks. As we observe this campaign, let us hold on to the powerful message that leaving an abusive relationship is possible—and that survivors have the strength to rebuild and thrive.